This week so far has been not many things happening, I’m still working on the Month of the Military certificate, SIP, and going back and forth with Vincia, the library manager at Tate Streatham Library.

I can feel myself that I’m getting used to being in the office, it’s a nice feeling that I can be myself with everyone, and I’m not as scared or timid compare to when I first started the placement. However, on the other hand, this makes me on the contrary, fear if I’m not pushing myself further. Perhaps, I’m not trying hard at this point than I should have…

I had an interesting conversation with my DPS colleague, Ama, during lunch break. As usual, I was on about some nonsense gibberish and she was bearing with me. Today we talked about our perspective on marriage and naturally we spoke about our parents and their relationship. Obviously, I can’t go into details as it’s personal, but what we realised was how childhood shapes our thinking thus form our values of life.

This fact is not necessarily remarkable or new idea but from that conversation, I was discern of greater impact it really had on myself.

Then, I became to wonder going beyond from personal values, but to social justice, how we’re influenced by our own world = surroundings. Everyone has their own world, our childhood, culture, interest are different which is natural. But at least with me, we tend to not realise how biased we are with our experience, and though we think we’re empathic to others but it doesn’t indicate we truly be able to see in their shoes.

This was something that hit me at the lunch time and to this day.

Ever since I’ve joined in placement, the vast majority of my tasks was designing and illustrating. Of course, I enjoyed undertaking those tasks and it felt rewarding, almost felt like I was contributing in establishment of branding of NSI.

But on the other hand, there was a lingering doubt surfaced within me, if this was all worth it. What I do, compare to what I study-fine art, has quite different approach, as works I produce for NSI is -in harsh terms- consumable materials that is there purely for functional purpose such as promotions, templates for contents and etc.

This is by no means is justifiable, but as a fine art student, I always unconsciously had an unexplainable guilt when producing so to say commercial images, though in this case it’s for the charity. But even when I was in my course, I was always pressured to create something ‘meaningful’, ‘significant’, ‘out of the box’ works, and that prolonged to this placement.

‘What is my purpose, am I that significant to be pressured in that way?’ was a doubt arise within me, but compare to uni, it was more conflicted.

Then one day, my superior, Sarah said: “I was looking the entries for ‘In someone’s shoes’ competition and there was one of the entrants who wrote in where they find out about the competition was from your post about explaining what in someone’s shoes means. I think I should tell you that.”

And that I wouldn’t say, it resolved all my dilemmas and worries but it came across to me as a reassurance, and reminder that someone does see what I do. In retrospect, that was the fear I had while I was in my originated course. The fear that my work is buried in other multiple works and seen by no one; that I’m talking to the void.

However, events like this, are what keep reminds that is not the case, as a creator, I do have a voice, and I’m being seen, and moreover, I have an impact on someone.

At the end, it got me thinking in a new angle. Rather than anxious about the principles, I’d just keep creating on behalf of NSI and myself. Because regardless, everything I create represent me, even they get cut out or edited by external forces, it’s nonetheless is still me.

Roughly 2 weeks before, I was contacted by Nicholas, my year 2 tutor. He asked me if I could give a presentation to the current year 2s who are interested in DPS or CCI course instead of going straight into 3rd year.

Basically people who may go into the same path I am right now.

I figured it’d be a great opportunity to share my example of what I do and cover any questions they may have, but mostly this was an excellent additional practice for me in presenting.

The presentation was held on 26th Monday at the Peckham Rd Lecture theatre, 12pm there were two other presenters, Cymon, and Rebecca (from CCI), and we all went turns, showed our slides and took questions.

I went as the first, and I was only one with the scripts whilst the others did free talking methods. Whether which one is better or not is not useful but I don’t think I’d been able to deliver my presentation in concise manner if myself approached in free talking.

However, the most improvement, I saw through my presentation is that, I was trying way hard to make it condensed, I wasn’t able to fully talked through necessary bits I feel like I need to mention. I feel like I left out a lot of things where the audience wouldn’t grasp on. Adding to the fact, I stuttered my reading.

How to overcome this… I should next time choose to see it in bigger picture in what I’m talking about, but instead of putting the slides, first, perhaps write the scripts/what I want to include in the presentation. Though it might be difficult task as I have a bad memory, but I’d attempt to memorise the script beforehand rather than reading from it…

First day back from a month winter break, I felt quite odd to be back in the office again. But I went through the stuff, I’ve been doing before the vacation and I ended fixing little bits that stuck out to my mind.

MCL booklet is the closest deadline aside from SIP, therefore, that was where I had my main focus on. Looking at the emails piled up in my inbox, I saw there was new updates to add on the booklet, which I spent rearranging the whole format and refurbishing it.

There was a brief discussion around SIP and concerns about it as we still haven’t managed to book a venue. As in this present moment, it seems likely that the exhibition will be postponed to March-April.

Other than MCL, I’ll be making small illustrative works for social media. As a last task of the day, I made thumbnail sketches for Monthly Challenge template.

Looking back, it makes me think about professionalism, and for me, it’s hard to negotiate with my almost egoistic expression and what the organisation envisioning. I wish I could see my surroundings more clearly.

Currently, my major interest lies on the SIP project. Due to the fact the aiming date is approaching quite soon, and we’re yet to figure out the venue.

UAL connected venues such as Peckham Levels or Millbank Tower accepts exhibition proposal through submission that opens from early Jan and is announced on early Feb, which is too late for our deadline. Although the Peckham library responded back to our proposal with a positive manner, but when we investigated the offered venue, it was too narrow from our expectation. Other venues either declined or are paid.

Come to think of it, we have complicated conditions when finding the venues.

1. Ideally no fee needed
2. Large enough to do both exhibition and workshops

So, I believe we’ll figure it out, but it’s also true. that I can’t help but worried. Therefore, I’m thinking perhaps we should keep digging into it or extend the deadline…

This has been quite a big project for me before the term 1 finishes. Every year NSI send Christmas card for their collaborators and supporters to present their accomplishment throughout a year – like a reflection.

There was a basic template they’ve been following for years, and this was the first time they letting an intern entirely produce a design.

What I choose to decide was follow the basic template but add more comprehensive personal touch to it – by using flat check patterns and hand drawn illustrations. I also desaturated the photos in black and white to create a consistent tone.

There was a limited time to keep a track on the project – about a week or bit more, I’ve put all my focus on this project. Going through all the trial and errors, I realised again, that what I envisioned is not always correlate with what the team truly needs. Especially then my superior explained the functional purpose of the card as in a sense it’s reporting back of NSI’s significant achievements through the year thus it encourages the supporters and the collaborators to acknowledge the presence.

In retrospect, I think I had a mindset as a fine artist where I weighed on the indication and the visual aesthetic rather than a functionality, thus I came to respect designing more, where it requires to juggle artistry, meaning and functionality.

Even after the design was made, I was still on the anticipation about printing, which I’d say it was frustrating, and requires great sum of patience. I made another design specifically for Robert Walters.

NSI has been wanting to rebrand their brand and website for a long time since the purpose of their charity has shifted from WW1 only to wider global topics on war and conflicts.

I compiled the list of various organisation and how their logo/branding strategy and draft sketches.

The current logo

Research and looking into the elements they want the logo to be included and my idea

This is my first time making a logo for an organisation and frankly it has been a challenge for me as the elements they want to incorporate were complex ideas but the logo of course has to be simplistic.

Those elements are:

• Creativity
• Youth/children
• Conflicts

And they asked me to combine these elements somehow straight forward yet cleverly intertwined to each other like an optical illusion-ish, which was something I’d never done, even unsure if I could deliver it. But I decided to go with what it comes to my mind.

The draft sketches

I used the image of dove for being most well-acknowledged symbol of peace and I thought choosing dove would help me depict conflict side as well. When I showed the sketches, the feedbacks were mostly positive but I don’t think there was a design that really nailed down all aspects they wanted.

However, I was told to do more loose drawings like this or hand write their organisation name as they liked the creative authentic value it gives.

So far, we’ve done:

• Searching for venues (but yet to be confirmed.
• Applying for the grant (Arts council England)
• Finalising the theme and description to the exhibition
• Selecting and narrowing the exhibition works (1st narrowing down)

We’re currently doing branding and workshop planning at the private view.

As of now, we’re not in a rush to get things done, so we’re taking it fairly relaxed but my worry is getting the venue, if the arts council accepts our application it’ll be most ideal, however, in case not, we’ll need to apply UAL connected venues like Peckham levels or Milbank tower.

Of course they’ll all plausible but the timing when the application opens is the issue, as our set date 9th Feb where their application will open from January.

We’ll need to contact the each facility team for each venues inquiring for support, but fingers crossed it’ll be alright.