Ever since I’ve joined in placement, the vast majority of my tasks was designing and illustrating. Of course, I enjoyed undertaking those tasks and it felt rewarding, almost felt like I was contributing in establishment of branding of NSI.

But on the other hand, there was a lingering doubt surfaced within me, if this was all worth it. What I do, compare to what I study-fine art, has quite different approach, as works I produce for NSI is -in harsh terms- consumable materials that is there purely for functional purpose such as promotions, templates for contents and etc.

This is by no means is justifiable, but as a fine art student, I always unconsciously had an unexplainable guilt when producing so to say commercial images, though in this case it’s for the charity. But even when I was in my course, I was always pressured to create something ‘meaningful’, ‘significant’, ‘out of the box’ works, and that prolonged to this placement.

‘What is my purpose, am I that significant to be pressured in that way?’ was a doubt arise within me, but compare to uni, it was more conflicted.

Then one day, my superior, Sarah said: “I was looking the entries for ‘In someone’s shoes’ competition and there was one of the entrants who wrote in where they find out about the competition was from your post about explaining what in someone’s shoes means. I think I should tell you that.”

And that I wouldn’t say, it resolved all my dilemmas and worries but it came across to me as a reassurance, and reminder that someone does see what I do. In retrospect, that was the fear I had while I was in my originated course. The fear that my work is buried in other multiple works and seen by no one; that I’m talking to the void.

However, events like this, are what keep reminds that is not the case, as a creator, I do have a voice, and I’m being seen, and moreover, I have an impact on someone.

At the end, it got me thinking in a new angle. Rather than anxious about the principles, I’d just keep creating on behalf of NSI and myself. Because regardless, everything I create represent me, even they get cut out or edited by external forces, it’s nonetheless is still me.