This is a follow up post to the visit to the Manchester.

Even before the reading room closing for installation, there were already a collection of a3 sized prints displayed in the middle of the hall, and there were library users who were carefully going around to view them.

While waiting for the closure, I was observing them observing the works, from there I felt the high level of concentration and attention, that the viewers were genuinely interested in the young artists’ works and stories.

Of course, their message and impressive works fully deserve them but on the other hand, I was thinking back on my practice.

For me, when one looks at my work, I usually look away or on the edge because I get anxious as if they are critiquing my inner self. In overview, I felt it was a vulnerable place to be. But when I was looking at the cared attention radiating from the viewers, I was thinking it’d have been nice if my works were seen like that. My purpose in creating is partially birthed out from the urge to seen in the first place? It took this long for me actually came to a contemplation like this…

I decided next time, I’ll observe straight into my audience looking on my work (not in a creepy manner), I want to face my vulnerability, like what Nietzsche famously said, “And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee”, but the abyss in this case is not defined as evil but my weaknesses.

I want to earn stability, an assurance of myself, my practice and this placement.