When comes to working collaboratively or as a team, I often get stressed. But I came into realisation that a large part of it is to do with my control freak nature, especially producing a visual work I have my stubborn way of doing things.

This is something I gathered about myself in the placement and working with my DPS colleague, Ama.

For example, during process of making branding and flyers for SIP, despite that the colour identity and concept was settled, in using them, we seemed to have a nuanced differences. When I made a flyer or signature logo, it seemed like Ama had more to say but didn’t, and later on when I shared the flyer, she was in contemplation for moment and in the afternoon same day, she showed that her designs confessing she’s been working on it for awhile and grew attachment to it.

She said it with concerns and timidity, this makes me reflect on whether I came across with stubborn attitude. Even harsh. She suggested my design to be a physical printed flyer and hers to be digital specific and I agreed to it. It could be said the matter has been resolved, but as an aftermath, it made me reflect on my attitude with others which I haven’t properly examine previously.

On the other hand, there was an aspect, I hoped she’ll say it with honesty from the first place, but importantly, my approach in teamwork is something I became to think more. To confess, I’m still not sure how to be easy to work and standing on one’s ground in the same time, but at least I realised my weakness to my skin is hopefully indicates I have an room for improvement.

Of course for the past few months, working with Ama has been a pleasure, (I believe) we became really good friends establishing positive relationship. Outside from work, I got to know what she likes to do and personal stories, and she did so too-I’d probably spilled out way more haha. And she’s very thorough with her works as well, which I truly respect. Frankly, there was a part of me during this far in the placement struggling with anxiety however, although I can’t make assumptions, Ama always seems to maintain calm and professionalism.

+ This thought occurred to me again when there was a big incident where one of the practitioners wrote a very lengthy letter to my superior of how he was mistreated and there was no support whatsoever. An internal alarm bell went off for all of us. I wasn’t able to read the email, but from hearing excerpt being read out loud, I was quick to know the tone was emotional, almost fierce, such as one of the lines was read ‘(…)it sounded like I can’t teach poetry’.

My superior was disheartened to see the email as it affected him following day as well. He was frustrated on the part where the practitioner stated there was no support provided, in which my superior was in numerous phone calls and email exchanges in giving feedbacks to his workshop plans. The team discussed about his points and investigated the exchanges between all member of the team, and concluded the large part was possibly because the practitioner had his own set pictures and wasn’t able to take it feedbacks in, however, instead of talking to the team, he was bottling it all up even during the interaction. Before the incident, my superiors were complimenting of he was easy going, and passionate about delivering the workshops.

However, in the end, my team was struggled through that day after he resigned to find alternative for his upcoming workshops.

The thing that surprised me was that even experienced practitioner could behave in such manner, moreover, I was thinking to myself, at least not to act like that even if I’m upset with my collaborators, and team members as there’re much better ways to resolve.